AUTUMN EQUINOX: marking the turnings in our own sweet time
seasonal journal prompts, upcoming podcast themes + permission to be human
Last week the streams crossed.
Germ gremlins picked up as the temperature and wind chill did the hokey-cokey with our summered bones here in the UK. Added to by an Endo flare-up this brought quite the physical mash. I sat down to write several times, stopping and starting, and all I could write about was the thing and place I was in. I didn’t particularly want to share the thing and the place I was in, from the tenderised nowness of it, and to strain to reach for something else just wasn’t possible. It became alphabet soup with a spicey aftertaste.
So I waited.
This waiting wasn’t easy. It came overly peppered with internal shaming of “but you write on the full moon… you’ve committed to this! You’re letting people down.” With the low energy resource of the aforementioned crossing of the streams, a mental pickle was added to the mash, and the alphabet soup with its spicey aftertaste…. and no one wants to eat that! Talk about heartburn.
So here we are.
AUTUMN EQUINOX, or MABON in the Celtic/Pagan/Brythonic traditions passed over the weekend. This is the flip side to the SPRING EQUINOX in March where we begin to feel winter ebb away and longer days slide in, bringing a few more minutes of light at each turn. This Equinox brings the hearth of the darker half of the year. Here we harvest and take stock, gathering the abundance from hedgerows and vegetable beds to fill the lader. From here we are walking into the longer nights.
I find myself more at home in the inward and darker months, however, I relish the energy that spring and summer bring for social connection and outward activity. As we pass Mabon I am bringing these seasonal reflections to the raw and rough handwritten page to see what is needed, sensed and known, below the running dialogue of to-dos and plans and processing.
It has been a full turn of the seasons since I began this flavour of FULL MOON INKLINGS and I am celebrating this harvest of a year of writing in this form, and another year of writing to you. I began on the HARVEST MOON last September, and we find ourselves in the WANING HARVEST MOON days now.
Honouring that which has passed, that which we have done and been, marking the abundance and the tenderness of loss, is a natural part of this harvest time and turning towards the darkness. The high life of spring and summer is dying away, and we too are gathering in the fruits of our labour this last year, and shedding. We may notice it happening to us, whether we like it or not in the form of physical slam-dunks, emotional turbulence, mental chatter or soulful questioning.
And we can move with and through this in our own sweet time.
The seasonal turnings are not a one-and-done thing. I have spoken before in the INKLINGS about how I have noticed in myself and others a pressure (see above!) to mark the turnings in particular ways at the right times. We have overlayed the most natural of cyclic ebb and flows with the systemic demands for perfection and rightness that addle our lives.
We have been prescribed a capitalistic idea of time that bares down upon us with its incessant chime.
Through this period of Arts Council Wales funded research, time has been a recurring theme of reflection. Working with a body and mind that experiences ebbs and flows of energy, pain and cognitive clarity, without continueing to fix it, overcome it, or make up for it, is a ride, to say the least. I have come to see how the experience of those in bodies not deemed fit, or to fit in with, systemic standards of productivity, are the canaries in the mine for all of the humanity that exists in these constructed unnatural realms.
I am looking forward to spending the next two days in the studio with Vivian Ross-Smith, as part of this funded project research and development, exploring themes of body, land, care and rest. Then next week I will be joining Dr Morgan Jones at the Earth Sciences department at Aberystwyth University to delve more into our geological findings.
The layers of connection, creative development and personal growth that this last year of funding application and acceptance has brought have been a game changer. I am still very much in the thick of it and deeper reflections on the process as a whole are not possible, however the key element that I am struck by again and again is the support and connection.
We are not meant to work and create solely alone.
We need support, and this is a vital and excellent thing. It brings us not just into connection with others we can learn from and offer our skills and support, but also provides multiple mirrors back into ourselves that reflect us in ways we don’t have access to alone. We are so much more than the running treadmill of our thinking minds believes us to be.
The hyper-individualism of euro-centric culture, and the perpetuated narrative of the lone wolf, overnight-success-genius-artist, can get us believing that we should be excellent before we have tried, that failure is a bad thing, and that we’d better do it by ourselves.
I know this to be boring and unhelpful BS, and I am so here for the unknown, messy, trail-and-error path of creative making, play, exploration and expression in all its forms.
INKLINGS Podcast Series
Walking the path of beginning, getting things made, and meeting all of the internal and external challenges along the way can be a whirlwind, and I have a series of mini podcasts coming up to walk with you on this path. Consider them voice-notes from a cheerleading friend. One who knows the territory, and also one who knows they don’t know things!
A vocal permission slip to be human, do things, not do things and see what happens.
This is for you if you like doing anything in your life. It is not just for those who identify as artists, writers or makers.
This mini series will look at the themes of:
- giving ourselves permission to suck
- asking what support do we need to do our things, and how to gather that support``
- notes on making time for our work (it’s not all about diarising)
- reflections on making space
- what does rest look like and how to make space for this too.
plus other elements of creative practice chat woven in too.
You will receive each episode in your inbox and can listen as you go about your day. You will also be invited to share your thoughts and experiences on each topic. There is alchemy in sharing our stories and reading the stories of others.
ROOT + WRITE: A Seasonal Year
The act of writing is an act of rooting.
I know very few people, if any, who are not trying incredibly hard at life right now. There is so much to take care of, to consider, to do, to fight for, to be aware of, to feel, to plan for, to learn, to act upon.
We do not need to try harder. We need support. We need connection, friendship, community and holding. To hold and be held. To lean in and on supportive ground, and to offer a spot for others to lean to experience how, wherever we are at, our comradeship and company is vital, valuable and valid.
As this year of INKLINGS comes to a close I am heartened by and hopeful for the ROOT + WRITE offering that starts on 26th October to mark Samhain. We meet over 8 Saturdays from 10am - 3pm spaciously online to mark the solstices, equinoxes and seasonal midpoints.
For further information check out over here:
Tiered pricing, payment plans and one off or whole series booking available.
If you would like to start now with some seasonal ROOTING + WRITING here are some journalling starting points.
Set a timer - 5 minutes is golden.
Give yourself permission to suck - write wildly, messily, in list form or full sentences.
Provide treat afterwards - hot drinks and tasty snacks for the win.
AUTUMN EQUINOX Journal Prompts
How does this seasonal turning time find you?
Are you looking forward to longer evenings, or are you anxious about this turning?What do you need more of, or less of right now?
If you could pause for a moment while reading and check in with yourself, feet planted on the ground, hand on the belly or chest, what information is your body and mind presenting you with right now?
In honour of your personal harvest I invite you take a few minutes to pause reading and reflect on that which has born fruit in your life this last year. You can do this as an act of mental savouring, or whip out a pen and paper and make a list. You may want to make a note of this reflection question and stick it somewhere you will see it in the coming days, to really marinade in it.
May you feel the ground come up to hold you, the wind’s invitation to wild bigness, and the fallen leaves permission to drop and slow.
Whatever streams are in confluence in your world, I wish you connection, support and a rich harvest.
KJ
✺g e n t l e. a t t e n t i o n✺
The Gentle Painting Project with earth pigment artist Rhiannon Rees and Span Arts Pembrokeshire, at Templeton Village Hall, Pembrokeshire. 12.30pm - 3.30pm Saturday 28th September. Tea Party and sharing of community arts project.
Turner Prize nominated artist 2024 - Deliane Le Bas on Tate Shorts